diy hairdying failure & reflections (literally).

seems to be the complete opposite effect;

writing while listening to selena gomez - falling down; i adore that girl

back to the main point -- got super bored at home after coming back from the doctors appointment (which i was 30 minutes late to. whatever they suck anyways). used this japanese hair manicure that i bought couple months ago but never got around to using. after poking some holes in a garbage bag & mentally preparing myself, telling myself that i won't fuck up, took me 15 minutes to feel confident in the amount of gloop i put in my hair. after waiting 15 minutes (supposed to be a "speedy 5 minute" process) took a much needed shower & watched all the chemicals go down the drain (is it going to kill the fish in the sea? crap.) got too impatient waiting for it to dry so blowdried a bit. and now i swear it looks darker than before. its was supposed to turn out to a honey brown (i expected a brown, slightly lighter than what i have now). but no. as i look at myself in the mirror while i'm typing (i sound vain - my bed is in front of the dresser mirror furniture thing so its not

my fault), i think i just wasted 30 minutes of my life trying to dye my hair. a slight fml. not that i would have been doing anything better or more interesting.

and of course i get sidetracked -- again.

speaking of mirrors, i didn't realize how often i look at a mirror or my reflection as i walk around, whether it's when i'm out or even at home. does it make me narcissistic? i never thought of myself as that type of girl, but one of my friends pointed it out when we were hanging out one night (his exact words: "do you realize you've looked at 3 out of the 5 car's windows that we've passed?"). i mean, i'm sure its just not me. im assuming most girls do it, especially cause i like to think of myself as a down-to-earth, not-quite-feminine-slightly-more-tomboyish kind of girl (well at least most of the times). but does that really make me vain? or perhaps i don't have enough self esteem/confidence to feel good about myself without constantly looking at my reflection to reassure myself that i look fine. or maybe i really do just like looking at myself. the second one sound about right.

love this picture. rip daul kim.

fresh start pt. 2

and now i remember;

there's always reason behind the madness. after reading over my ramblings posted 5 minutes ago, i remembered the reason behind it all. i deviated from the original idea of the post about 3 sentences in (like i said, my thoughts are random & take the best of me). and now it will just sound childish & stupid but hey, its my blog; you deal with it.

alwayseu. always eu. always you.

thank goodness my name works so well as a pun. the name of the blog came to me because of the frustration behind thinking of the actual name. no matter how many names i go through (e-mail, aim, blogs, etc) i'll always be me. its always the same person behind the words & ideas. i as a person am the one thing that stays constant in my life. people come & go. thoughts come & usually go rather quickly for me. okay now its getting corny. a good sign to stop rambling.

on a sidenote - i hate how whenever you keep looking at one word the spelling slowly starts to look weird.

fresh start

its silly if you really think about it;

i spent the past hour trying to figure out old e-mail accounts, passwords & secret questions in order to figure out a name for this blog. every name that i could think of & wanted was taken, causing me more grief & frustration (after telling a friend what i finally decided upon their reactions: "took you long enough"). then i realized in the past 22 years of my life, i've probably gone through way too many e-mail addresses, screennames & passwords that i cannot remember for the life of me. and now i ask myself: why did i keep switching them? i wish i could've realized how simple it would have made my life now to stay constant & not be so wishy-washy. but then that got me thinking: what is in a name.

when i was younger, i always wondered how my parents named me: eunice young park. my mom told me she originally wanted make my korean name byul (star in english). thinking about it now, i know i would have been a much different person today than i am now if they actually carried through with that name; thank God they didn't. honestly, i have no idea what my korean name means. something that has to do with a flower. or something. who knows.

eu⋅nice

latinized form of eunike (greek); eu:well, good, fair; nike: victory

my name reflects my personality very well. or my personality reflects my name very well. whichever, whatever. either way, i remember i used to hate my name. people would always misspell & mispronounce it. no one had the same name (except for the character in street car named desire - of course when we read that in highschool i always had to read that part). it wasn't until middle school that i met someone who had the same first name. and this year is the first time i met another person named eunice park. bizarre.

not going to lie, i don't remember where i was going with this. i don't even know why i'm writing about it. if you have read down to this part, congratulations! you have successfully followed a normal train-of-thought of mine. the best word to describe me: random. and now you know why.

i guess this is a fresh start to blogging & writing for me. i tried to keep a journal for the longest time but the last time i wrote in it was literally last year (my last entry was my new years resolution for 2009). one side of me hopes that no one ends up stumbling on to this page. and if you do, i'm sorry that you wasted 2 minutes of your time with my randomness. or maybe you were blessed. i'd like to think of it the latter.

its 3:30am & i have a doctors appointment at 11:30. lets see what time i sleep & if i can wake up in time for it.