people always told me to enjoy college while i can cause it'll be the best period of my life. i'm pretty sure i can say that i'm one of the few people who loved cmu. yeah it was hard, the weather was sucky & etcetc, but the past 4 years were the most interesting years of my life that i'll always reminisce about. i do miss college, whether its the studying aspect or the social life. we were all able to do what we wanted with the excuse that "we're in college." no rules, no exceptions. coming home at 6am without parents to wake up (i guess not a problem for those who don't live at home). going out, partying up, not having a care of how we're going to get home or what i smell like. in general, just being stupid & not caring about the future.
now, we're actually expected to make something of ourselves. if we bum around, we're useless graduates who are too lazy to find a job. if we work, they we're missing out on the life that used to be.
some of my friends already started working. there's mixed emotions. there's the people who are excited & happy that a new leaf has turned; then there's those who are regretting starting to work right out of school, without experiencing the... freedom. i'm loving the fact that i'm not doing anything. i'm proud to admit it: I AM A BUM! but then at the same time, now that i've been doing nothing for some time, i just keep thinking about my life and where i'm taking it. i haven't been avidly searching for a job & strangely i don't feel too much pressure or stress. yet, i know i should be out there in the world like everyone else, earning my pay & doing something with my college degree. sigh, what am i doing with my life. why am i not motivated?
i am quite jealous of people who have everything in their life planned out. going straight into a high paying job. planning to retire by the time their 35. relaxing on the beaches. my dream life, as lame as it may seem, was always to meet a guy, date for a while, get married, have 2 kids before 30 & be a stay-at-home/soccer/pta/etc mom. yet for some reason, maybe i expected too much. i guess there should always be room for surprises & accidents here & there. currently, life is definitely not going the way i planned. maybe it'll go back on track in a couple months. but honestly, i'm happier than i've ever been. maybe surprises aren't always a bad thing..
yet again, i don't even know where i'm going with this.
